Fuck the traditional advice such as While juggling a demanding job, time becomes a valuable commodity. Assess your daily routine and identify moments that can be transformed into writing sessions. Wake up an hour earlier, utilise lunch breaks, or create dedicated writing nights. You do that if and when you actually want to become a writer. (But even then the idea of waking up an hour earlier is preposterous. Imagine waking up an hour earlier for everything that is good for you. Give or take an hour, you’d have to start the day around midnight.)
Don’t turn writing and indulgence with words into another calendar entry or to-do list. Instead, use writing as an outlet to contemplate your musings. Just Write!
Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash
Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia
Come to think of it, Powers That Be, a.k.a corner office with a view execs, should be the one self-medicating with a hearty dose of creative writing. But I digress …
Going back to stuffy little rooms with broken air-con and open floor shared spaces where one must concentrate on work while being in a constant conversation with everyone around and jumping into an impromptu ‘brainstorm chat’ every single time a demi-god from the aforementioned offices passes the desks …
Begin by tapping into your innermost desires. Channel the intensity of your longing for a creative outlet and let it fuel your motivation. Use your writing to escape the confines of your bullshit job and explore a world of fantasy, blood and gore, angry sex or steamy movie-like encounters, descriptive gardening or world exploration … more or less anything that keeps you sane.
Do it all in your head (while performing mind-boggling tasks that no one can decipher without serious knowledge of tarot reading, a handy crystal ball or tea leaves (another slight digression to the left - a magic 8 ball works every single time, just make sure the question is specific).
Use speech to text apps or simply jot or tap down words into anything handy. It doesn’t have to be well-written, perfectly worded or even make sense in the initial stage - I call it a sanity outlet - you can edit later. Or not. Sometimes words are simply therapy: you let them out as a way of processing your inner chaos and move on. (If you’re lucky you achieve some clarity in the process.)
Punch it!
Writing is like boxing - after a while you are so drained, you can no longer be angry with the world.
Shadow boxing, sparring with a trainer, punching a bag … it doesn’t matter. You can visualise whatever or whoever the heck you want and punch. The bag or the keyboard, the effect will be similar. They are both good for the soul.
In the absence of a handy boxing bag next to that thoroughfare where your desk sits, do it in your head. With words, images, scenes playing vividly and on repeat in your mind like the Tarantino minutes-long bloodbaths with unexpectedly nonsensical details and a touch of the ridiculous.
A little pro tip: this also works very well in online meetings when your eyes are trying to pop out of your head at the absurdity of the discussion. Trust me, you will end up with a slight mysterious smile that is almost musing but not quite. Much better than a permanent frown and a spasm in your jaw trying to control the aforementioned frown.
But do not, I can’t stress this enough, do not let it stay in your head. Write it down! Before work, during your commute, while trying not to punch the screen, instead of reading emails during a time wasting meeting, over your morning coffee or an evening beverage, before going to sleep, after that boxing gym session … a few minutes here and there is all it takes.
When is a good time for writing?
Never! Of course not, you have to focus at work like your life depends on it - it is a corporate bullshit job, after all. But think of it as ROI. For yourself. In your skills, sanity, mental resilience, ability to multitask (which is a myth), training the creative and analytical part of your brain, improving communication skills, making the workplace a safer space - mentally punching people with words is perfectly legal, saves HR time and the company firing you and hiring someone new.
So, in short: it’s always a good time. You are not a professional writer (yet), you are not paid for it, it is not a calling (yet), it is therapy. In the absence of organised gym aggression access, this is the mental version - your shadow boxing with words. Your contribution to self-care and OHS.
Use corporate experience as fodder:
Working in the corporate madness is the best source of inspiration known to mankind. It's one of the untapped resources (apologies to all professional writers who have been successfully tapping into it; this is me trying to encourage the three people reading this blog who are not them). It is an underutilised green energy source, exclusive access club, dirty weekend away, private collection hidden behind the oak doors behind the company values poster … if you know what I mean.
Just think of all the vomit-worthy cookie-cutter motivational statements, mission and values emails from Powers That Be, daily shit shows, projects missing the status update Clusterfuck, ‘adjusted’ (translation: increased for reasons unknown to plebs) targets and KPIs, employee rewards that include spending weekends participating in charity events with amazing PR coverage, Christmas parties with self-funded drinks and warmed-up ikea meatballs, business trips in flashy hotels that give you a chance to do the usual 8 to 16-hour-day work on top of the daily business meetings, workshops, conferences and entertaining clients and partners at a tiny glass-top desk with the branded notepad and a pen next to the old school phone you use to order room services while replying to emails and sending ‘adjusted’ targets and KPIs back to the ivory tower.
And don’t forget that colleagues, bosses, and other company employees are your writing punching bag - they are the best source of inspiration; drool-worthy Web services knights in shining armour or your inner-Tarantino-unleashing ninjas that can play any role in your wordsmithing.
Would you like them to be punched and walk past your desk dripping blood on the 1% natural fibre carpet that was last cleaned during the Margaret Thatcher reign?
Or have them win the lottery, announce it to the Big Weirdo with their middle finger raised and tell them where to stick it in a language only one other person in the office understands?
Go for it! It’s only a few words forming a sentence. Not even a need for a subordinate clause. Unless you’re feeling creative and Joycean …
A Little Trick: a language fit for thought
If you’re bilingual or multilingual or worried about your scribbling ending up at the wrong hands or seen by the wrong gossipy eyes, write in a language not many understand. Or mix several languages. It sounds chaotic, I know but it will do two things: organise your inner chaos by structuring the patterns and meanings and let you express yourself in the best possible way - words and phrases in different languages never convey the exact nuances, so grab the one that is closest to your inner Shakespeare and summarises the office demons best.
In conclusion:
Just Write!